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You wouldn’t believe it, Jessie J says. At that moment readying for her comeback record in eight years, ecstatically in love with her current love, and at long last the mom to a little one after facing fertility challenges for ten years, on top of the world. Then in spring she was diagnosed with cancer in her breast.

The singer-songwriter, birth name Jessica Cornish, is renowned for telling it as it is. The LP, the provocatively titled album, was intended as an open book, addressing every bit of hardship she’d endured since she last recorded music (endometrial issues, pregnancy loss, broken romances, psychological manipulation, suicidal thoughts) with characteristic openness. The first single, the song No Secrets, was released in the spring. But by then there was a mighty secret. Her diagnosis. Later follow-up track, the upbeat Living My Best Life, debuted in May and Cornish was talking to press about how she was thriving, while at the same time living with the disease. Subsequently she disclosed her condition, and in July she underwent breast removal surgery.

She gives me her best “Seriously?” glance. “I come out with a song called No Secrets. I’m giving every interview, and they inquire, ‘So what’s new with you?’ and I answer, ‘Erm, yeah, nothing …’” Cornish has just had to postpone shows because she’s yet to undergo reconstructive surgery.

We’re at a photo studio in the capital. She is wearing a tan faux-leather coat, blue jeans with elaborate white patches, cream boots and large glasses. Think motorcycle style meets vintage look. “It seems like I’m in the seventies and I should have a boyfriend with a big tache.” Easy Rider, I say, thinking of the picture. “They used to call me that!” She smiles. Jessie is fast-thinking, unfiltered and direct. She says she has always wanted to try comedy and is hoping to make her first comedy performance soon. “I like entertaining. On stage I basically roast the audience.”

Health Struggles and Diagnosis

Cornish was getting ready for an appearance at the awards show when she found a lump. “I immediately went to get it checked, had an ultrasound, and they said, ‘It appears fine; your breasts are normal.’ And I insisted, ‘But I can feel it. I have arm pain and numbness in my fingers whenever I rise.’ And they said, ‘How about a biopsy?’ It happened on March 28, the day after my birthday.” It was a Friday. The specialist told her if it was concerning she’d contact on the start of the week. By then Cornish had assured herself it was nothing. The way she tells it, it was inopportune to face illness when she had many commitments.

“It was a fortnight prior from launching this thing after a long hiatus and no new music. And the doctor messaged and said, ‘Is six okay?’ And I thought, ‘It’s virtual, probably routine.’ So I log in thinking it’s all going to be positive, and she informs me, ‘Please take a seat.’ That sympathetic voice? And she reveals, ‘Unfortunately but your biopsy results have come back as malignant cells.’” What did you say? “I answered, ‘Well, that’s not great. That’s not fucking great timing.’ The first thing I thought was, ‘I have to survive for my boy.’”

I’ve been labeled difficult for knowing myself

She viewed the procedure frightening and surreal. “I dislike anesthesia. They lead you. During crises you roll down in a bed, but now I just marched with a hospital gown and my bum hanging out. You feel like you’re in an episode of Black Mirror.” But, she adds, she’s been lucky. Without chemo or radio, just the surgery. “It’s terrible, but you know what? Thank fuck I found it early. I underwent removal a few months back and my right breast now appears as a grapefruit under a tight bedsheet.” A further beam. “I got to keep the nipple, though.”

The next operation is for health and appearance. Her breasts, she remarks, are now “asymmetrical. The implant is larger than before. That’s impolite! I felt, don’t add insult to injury, I’m already having a rough time. How offensive! Amusingly I said I’d never get my boobs done because I’ve got perfectionism, and I know they’d never be flawless. Cancer ruined that plan.”

Past Medical Issues

The singer is accustomed to medical issues. She feels her outlook on her diagnosis has been so positive because she’s familiar with health crises. Many times they occur alongside professional successes, functioning as a wake-up call, or blow, to make her recall not to assume everything is fine. “Frankly, I feel life goes, ‘Enjoying yourself? Take a seat.’ Ever since I was a child, it has often paired with high points for me; something severe or obscure has impacted my body.”

She takes me back to her youth, already starting her career performing in the stage in Whistle Down the Wind (she was selected at the age of nine). That’s when she was told about the heart condition WPW, which can cause a tachycardia as well as dizziness and palpitations. “I attended rehearsals intermittently on an drip, and being readmitted at night.” She jumps ahead several years, and young Jessica has joined the female band Soul Deep while attending the Brit School. “I signed my initial contract, and I had a brain incident. Then when I was ready to debut in recently I had a automobile accident and my larynx moved up and I lost my voice for a year.”

Oi, I say, wait, I need a moment. At just 17? She nods|agrees